Friday 15 June 2012

The Donkey or Typical Facebook User

Yes I am a Facebook 'liker'

the donkey bows his head in shame
he realises that his life is a pointless sham
for eating carrots
chewing oats
sowing wild oats
taking a shit
getting his hooves hammered
is a complete waste of time
the infant saviour of humanity rode on his back
but it was a complete lie
the infant saviour was a spoilt little brat
with an ice cream cone in his hand
and it wasn't before Christ
it was margate 1964
on a beach
where the heavens opened and pissed its fucking noisome whore stench over the fucking useless kunts all lined up in tawdry little uniforms pussy and cock aching for a fuck
mods and rockers flocked to the stupid scene in order to knife one another to death
four men were jailed
36 people fined
and throughout it all the son of god rode on my knackered back
a deckchair smashed me in my face
my ears were stung by woeful music that sounded like god had spat out his anger and wild fury onto the ants of His great planet once again
the rockers got their tits out and burned down the roads over 100mph whilst i stood still and pissed my legs
my stomach churned and i shat all over a child's broken sand castle
that castle was an exact replica of the one that imprisoned richard the lionheart for all of those years whilst his fat lazy bitch brother fucked about with his kingdom
it was a just reward really considering that the stupid kunt got himself killed in the most ridiculous manner by going for a bout of mock-heroic target practice on the bowman on the besieged city walls
some ugly looking kunt called Johnny came and kicked my side hard
over and over again
he spat at my mane and pulled my balls
he liked to see me in pain
he was a complete kunt
think he died a few years ago of bronchitis
miserable way to die
he spent 60 years on this planet and his only pleasure was to rape a donkey
poor little kunt
butlins nailed a sign to my neck and it hurt like a bee sting
vanilla ice cream was cold slippery slop down my back
the stupid son of god fell off shortly afterwards
he cracked his obese thick skull on the side of the pier
blood like a chocolate fountain
he fell off like a limp crab that has had its claws hacked away leaving a twitching limb
the kid broke his poor little neck
his mother and father had no idea where he was
his step sister bought me for a ride
because she wanted to fuck some poor rag and bone man because he had side burns like elvis presley and talked with a cockney accent
his cock was grizzled with scars from sexual disease
funnily enough the girl loved it more for that
funny the things that make sense in the heat of the moment
but her brother lay dead at my feet
so i walked over the little fucker and made my way back to my master
i walked all along the water's edge
along the blazing hot sand
through the madness of the stupid fad riots of 1964
i was just a donkey after all
what was it to me?
people come people die
it is nature after all
when i got back to my master he gave me a carrot and a sugar lump
'you stupid little nag'
'what a stupid expression'
'fancy that those butlins kunts stuck a pin in your neck and hung a garland round your neck'
'don't get any fancy ideas boy. you're still one ugly fucking nag'
'stupid as well'
'have a carrot'

by The Vacant Facebook Liker

No comments:

Post a Comment